Now on DVD (condensed versions of the original reviews):
Recent Releases:
10,000 BC (Steven Strait, Camilla Belle)
There’s a great old Jerry Seinfeld routine where he claims when you watch a nature show, you root for whichever animal is the subject. (If it’s about lions, you root for them to kill that stupid gazelle. If it’s about the gazelle, you exclaim: Get out of there! Use your speed!). When the tribe of main characters attacks the herd of woolly mammoths, I just can’t root for them. Not to sound like an animal rights activist or too shallow, but the mammoths come off as these majestic beasts and the tribe just looks ridiculous. They speak about very metaphysical concepts, yet one of them I think is named “Tick Tick”. (Stay Away From)
21 (Jim Sturgess, Kevin Spacey)
Anyone who’s won or lost at the tables will understand the feelings. It’s thrilling to get blackjack, to beat the dealer, to be treated like a king, to see the chips pile up, and to get the attention of all the people around you. Whether you’re at a small Indian-owned casino or jumping from casino to casino on the Vegas strip, it’s hugely exciting. Then you’ll come crashing down to Earth when the cards stop going your way. 21 is like that. Not just because it teaches the lessons of over-extending yourself while gambling, but because it’s fun and thrilling during the glamour and disappointing after the inevitable crash. (See If You Want)
3:10 To Yuma (Christian Bale, Russell Crowe)
Later in the year, Russell Crowe faced off against Denzel Washington in an "acting dream match." Bale is just about to the point where he's worthy of such a faceoff himself. The remake of 3:10 is tense, full of action and features two great performances. The ending isn't true to the characters though and that takes it down a notch. (See If You Want)
300 (Gerard Butler, Lena Headey)
No History Channel documentary is going to have the visuals 300 has. It is spectacular to look at, even when it gets very gory. The fight scenes are slowed down or sped up at just the right moments, and it’s hypnotic to watch Leonidas hit and chop his way through the invaders... Why then does this comic book geek not give 300 a full recommendation? 1) After awhile, it’s the same fight scene again and again, with different looking villains to kill. 2) It’s as easy to immerse yourself in the world of 300 as it is to immerse yourself in the world of Sin City. But when you’re caught up in Sin City, you feel kind of cool. If you get caught up in 300—and really think about it—you’ll feel a little silly. (See If You Want)
American Gangster (Denzel Washington, Russell Crowe)
I'd see any gangster movie starring Denzel Washington and I'd see any gangster movie starring Russell Crowe. A gangster movie with both as the leads? I was there, and it was worth it. (Go See)
The Astronaut Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton, Virginia Madsen)
It’s kind of like Field Of Dreams In Space. That’s not to say it's a science fiction movie, although you do have to suspend some belief if you’re going to buy into the idea... But gosh darn it, everyone involved is so down-to-earth and friendly, and Thornton is so determined without being arrogant or rude, you want to see that rocket take off... It's all gentle Americana-- a movie about a farmer and an astronaut? How could it not be a feel good film? (Go See)
Atonement (James McAvoy, Keira Knightley)
It's an old-fashioned Oscar-bait epic, that is very interesting to begin with and gets a little caught up in its itself in its second half. I get a feeling a big chunk of the book was taken out -- a chunk that might have made me feel more for our lovers. As it is, I feel like the movie blames the little girl for World War II. (See If You Want)
The Bank Job (Jason Staitham, Saffron Burrows)
It's a great heist film featuring some ordinary guys in way over their heads. One of the more entertaining and suspenseful films of its type in a long time, and it proves Staitham is capable of more than just action movies. (Go See)
Black Snake Moan (Samuel L. Jackson, Christina Ricci)
It’s not as lurid as it all sounds. From the opening shots of real life blues legend Son House talking about the meaning of the blues and of Ricci and boyfriend Justin Timberlake... um… indulging her mania… you think this will be a lurid classic... But Jackson doesn’t have Ricci chained up for lascivious reasons, he’s keeping her there until The Devil leaves her... The redemptive theme will keep it from being the lurid cult classic you might have hoped it would be, but it’s still a unique movie that shouldn’t disappoint. (Go See)
Blades Of Glory (Will Ferrell, Jon Heder)
Will Ferrell must want to be asked back every year to be a presenter at the ESPYs. The star of Kicking & Screaming and Talladega Nights is starring in another sports movie, where he gets to take his big and less than athletic frame and put it into an arena it has no business being in.. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds. It’s also very funny. The choreography is hysterical as the two perform in some oddball and even awkward positions. The movie includes the best use ever of Aerosmith’s cheeseball ballad “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing.” (Go See)
Borat (Sasha Baron Cohen)
...hysterical and uncomfortable at the same time. Some of his targets deserve it, others you end up feeling sorry for. I'm also pretty sure some of it was staged, but this will get funnier as time goes on, even if "Very nice" has replaced "Yeah baby" as the saying for annoying people who can't do accents but insist on doing them anyway. (Go See)
The Brave One (Jodie Foster, Terrence Howard)
The Brave One is a good movie, but it’s not the movie it thinks it is. Honestly, it’s really just a variation of a Charles Bronson Death Wish movie, but because it stars a woman and is shot more artfully, it thinks it’s more of a thought-provoking message movie... There’s nothing all that wrong with putting out Death Wish 6, but the makers of The Brave One figure they need a female Oscar winner if they’re going to get us asking questions. But really, there’s no reason an intelligent mind can’t watch Death Wish and still do some thinking. (See If You Want)
Breach (Chris Cooper, Ryan Phillipe)
It’s a spy movie even I can understand, which makes it a pretty good one. Espionage is never really all that easy to grasp. You’re dealing with trying to figure out who’s on who’s side, combined with the very complex nature of government and bureaucracies. But Breach isn’t really about the true life spying that Robert Hanssen did in what was called the worst spy case in American history. It’s about the complexities of his own personality as well as the FBI’s efforts to take him down. (Go See)
Catch And Release (Jennifer Garner, Timothy Olyphant)
Catch and Release practically screams Chick Flick.... It might as well be an episode of What About Brian. What distinguishes it from your run-of-the-mill chick flick are strong performances and relatable characters. Interestingly, there aren't a lot of chicks. Jennifer Garner's support group is all guys. The strong male presence may have been what made the movie more tolerable for me, so I'll be curious if women will mind. Oh, who am I kidding-- Jennifer Garner cries over old photos and Timothy Olyphant smiles a lot. Women will love it. (Go See)
Evan Almighty (Steve Carell, Morgan Freeman)
I probably shouldn’t apply too much logic about a movie based on a giant ark and faith, but I did have a little trouble getting over how few people believed Evan. I’m not saying they need to buy into his “I talked to God” story entirely, but if they see bears and elephants following him around everywhere, wouldn’t they think there’s something more going on than just one guy acting like a lunatic?... Details like that may not be too important considering what the movie really is: a children’s book version of a Bible story. It’s sweet, it has a nice message, but you know all involved could have done something with a little more edge. (See If You Want)
For Your Consideration (Catherine O'Hara, Christopher Guest)
It's sad to see the Christopher Guest ensemble phone it in. They live in Hollywood, yet couldn't do for Hollywood what they did for small town theatre or dog shows. (See If You Want)
Forbidden Kingdom (Jackie Chan, Jet Li)
I’m not an aficionado of kung fu movies, so watching Forbidden Kingdom, I couldn’t say for sure if I was watching a parody or a tongue-in-cheek tribute. Distilling the above comment to the real point: I have no idea what I was watching. (Stay Away From)
The Golden Compass (Dakota Blue Richards, Nicole Kidman)
Conservative Christians and atheists are both complaining about The Golden Compass. The Christians say it promotes atheism; some atheists are saying it doesn’t do enough to do so. I came out with a prayer of my own: “Dear God, they aren’t really going to make another one of these, are they?” The long and senseless movie goes on forever and leads to no real conclusion, but then throughout, I never really knew what the characters were trying to do. Still, it’s clearly set up for a sequel. Golden Compass: you are no Harry Potter. (Stay Away From)
Good Luck Chuck (Dane Cook, Jessica Alba)
Decision time: do I want this site to be R-rated? Because there are words that rhyme with "Luck" and "Chuck" that would fit nicely into this review. (Stay Away From)
Grindhouse Presents Deathproof (Kurt Russell, Rosario Dawson)
Sadly, they took the fantastic double feature of Grindhouse and divided it into 2 DVDs to try and cater to people with short attention spans, as if they can't hit "pause." Still, this is worth a look if you missed it in theaters and love Quention Tarantino... We follow a never-better Kurt Russell as he follows groups of young women. It’s mesmerizing watching him stalk his prey. Unfortunately, some of his prey are the centerpiece of an excruciatingly long diner scene that comes nowhere close to the superior diner scenes in Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction... But get back in time for the car chase, which is just fantastic. I refuse to give away the ending, but I’ll say this: it’s perfect. By that, I don’t mean it’s a clever plot resolution. I mean the exact final second of film is great. (Go See)
Grindhouse presents Planet Terror (Freddy Rodriguez, Rose McGowan)
It's a whole lot of sick fun... The more entertaining movie (of the Grindhouse double feature) is the first, (Robert) Rodriguez’s Planet Terror. The plot isn’t as important as the images and the goofy dialogue. Zombies are taking over a small town, and it’s only hope is a drifter with a dark secret, an amazing proficiency with weapons and an ex-girlfriend with a gun for a leg, providing the iconic image of the film. Limb, blood and puss fly everywhere in this epic battle. It’s gloriously ridiculous. (Go See)
Hairspray (Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta)
Everybody in Hairspray is just so happy to be there. They’re full of pure joy at almost all times, singing and dancing non-stop (thankfully, it’s a musical). Even the black kids in detention-- segregated from everyone else-- spend their time dancing and celebrating. If it were Up With People, it would get annoying fast, but in Hairspray, the mood is infectious. (Go See)
The Heartbreak Kid (Ben Stiller, Michelle Monaghan)
It's a funny movie when Stiller discovers what a psycho he's married, but it takes an ugly turn when he decides he wants to look elsewhere. She was a psycho but not , and Stiller's character comes off as cruel. The movie also becomes fairly witless after that. (Stay Away From)
The Holiday (Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet)
Either of the two movies that comprise The Holiday would be a “Go See,” but since they're melded into one, it can’t earn a full recommendation... It might sound a little like Trading Places or even an episode of Wife Swap, except there is no real storyline reason for these women to have traded places with each other. They don’t really swap lives, and the locales mean nothing to the plot. The exact same things could probably have happened to them in their own homes... Individually though, the stories are pretty good... Sexy or not, they’re all attractive people who it’s not all that bad to spend a little time with-- just not as much time as I did. (See If You Want)
I Am Legend (Will Smith)
The less said about I Am Legend, the better I think. In the spirit of the barren wasteland Will Smith finds himself in, I won't write that much. I'll be almost as quiet as the movie's soundtrack and the deserted streets.. because if I'd known more, I would have been disappointed. Others I've talked to about it either already knew some things or found more details on the internet-- and if I'd known what they know, it wouldn't have been nearly as suspenseful. (Go See)
In Bruges (Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson)
One’s first thought that the notoriously hard living Farrell is playing a hitman would be that Ray would be a gritty tough guy. He’s tough for sure, but surprisingly funny. He’s blunt (he doesn’t like Bruges because he wasn’t raised on a farm and he’s “not a retard”), boyish (he has to stare at a movie shoot because they’re “filming midgets”) and full of great lines (were I British and crude, I’d use a priceless line about John Lennon often). (Go See)
Juno (Ellen Page, Michael Cera)
I’ll be damned if Juno’s quirky charms, as annoying as they were at first, didn’t eventually win me over... You could argue that teenage pregnancy is no laughing matter, and of course it isn’t—but Juno’s director Jason Reitman and first-time screenwriter Diablo Cody treat it with warmth, sensitivity and realism. Juno’s star should become a star after this. My fellow fanboys will remember Ellen Page as Kitty Pryde in the X-Men movies, but this is her coming out performance. She is sometimes hysterical while never letting you forget what she’s dealing with. You feel sorry for her, especially when you realize she’s in over her head. (Go See)
License To Wed (Robin Williams, Mandy Moore, John Krasinksi)
The producers of TV’s The Office must have sent a memo out: “Make movies but please make them bland. We don’t want your outside work to overshadow the very funny stuff we do here.”... Now, it’s John Krasinski who gets his chance to be bland in License to Wed. (See If You Want)
Little Children (Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson)
The little children in question aren't the toddlers in the movie but the bored adults who watch them. Winslet is great as a clearly intelligent woman who clearly wants more out of life than watching her daughter play and sitting around waiting for her husband to come home so she can take her power walk... It's really a darker and artier Desperate Housewives, complete with gossipy women of every hair color, a town pervert and perfect narration. (Go See)
Martian Child (John Cusack, Bobby Coleman)
Martian Child is a lot like its title character— it’s gentle, harmless and just a little off—even though deep down, he’s like any other kid... the movie is a lot like "the other kids"—you can probably guess pretty much how the story will resolve itself. There are things that will happen in any movie about a single father and an adopted child. But along the way, there are some pleasant surprises that help this movie stand out. (Go See)
Meet The Robinsons (Daniel Hansen, Jordan Fry)
It’s definitely neat to watch and kind of fun to look around at a theater full of people wearing 3-D glasses, but aside from being computer animated as opposed to hand drawn, the experience is really still just a novelty...Robinsons also isn’t a memorable enough movie to set off the wave of the future.
It’s cute enough to be a fine way to pass an hour and a half, but it’s not a landmark in storytelling. It has a misleading title, because it takes forever for the Robinsons to show up. It’s like watching a monster movie as a kid: they take forever to get to the Godzilla content. (See If You Want)
Michael Clayton (George Clooney, Tilda Swinton)
Patience please, it will be worth it... When I say Michael Clayton will hold your interest, that’d be both Michael Clayton the character and Michael Clayton the script. Clooney does a great job with this guy—a talented but morally-conflicted lawyer who wonders if he’s on the right side of things. As to the script, it’s very layered and very interesting—but when all is said and done, it makes complete sense. What starts with a car blowing up ends with one of the better closing credit ideas in a long time. (Go See)
A Mighty Heart (Angelina Jolie)
If you followed the sad story of Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl, you know how it ended—which could have ruined this mostly procedural drama about the hunt for his kidnappers. However, we ignorant Americans really don’t know all that much about Pakistan or what it’s like to be a journalist there, so for those who want to learn, A Mighty Heart is fascinating... It sounds very Lifetime-Movie-Of-The-Week, but its authenticity and a strong performance by Jolie keep it above that level. (Go See)
Mr. Woodcock (Billy Bob Thornton, Seann William Scott)
For reasons I may never figure out, Billy Bob Thornton looked at this script and the similarly-themed School For Scoundrels and decided both needed to be made. (Stay Away From)
Ocean's Thirteen (George Clooney, Brad Pitt)
I could go to town with blackjack analogies -- they should have walked away from the table, should have stayed with 12, shouldn't have taken a hit... (Stay Away From)
The Other Boleyn Girl (Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman)
It’s a juicy, juicy story alright, and if it wasn’t based on some historical fact, you’d think it was as ludicrous as any nighttime soap. Any member of the Church of England will tell you though the story has some real importance. The writers at One Tree Hill couldn’t come up with anything this good. There are a huge number of twists and turns, some of which, by the movie’s climax, are absolutely squirm-inducing. (Go See)
Perfect Stranger
This actually would have been better about ten years ago when AOL and chatting were fresher. I imagine the screenwriters were up chatting one night and came up with the idea of Halle Berry (who I’m sure many a computer geek has stared at online) seducing Willis online to get close to him. But while they wrote “lol” and “brb” back and forth to each other, they didn’t think about how to write a long form story. (Stay Away From)
The Reaping (Hilary Swank, David Morrissey)
I remember liking this while seeing it in the theater, with its many locusts and snakes and decapitated bodies. Yet all these weeks later, I don't remember all that much other than it had a fairly predictable twist ending. (See If You Want)
Rendition (Reese Witherspoon, Jake Gyllenahaal)
Witherspoon is determined to find out what has happened to her husband... She suspects the CIA has taken him.... so she waits at the office for Meryl Streep for the confrontation. She screams at her: "Where's my husband?" Security has her removed. And that's it... There's a lot of that. (Stay Away From)
Rescue Dawn (Christian Bale, Steve Zahn)
Christian Bale continues his method acting as an emacited prisoner-of-war in a harrowing true life story. Steve Zahn--normally a comedic sidekick--is instead a method acting sidekick and is just as good as Bale. Werner Herzog's story of these men losing their minds is heartbreaking and enthralling. (Go See)
Resurrecting The Champ (Josh Hartnett, Samuel L. Jackson)
Resurrecting is less about boxing and more about journalism, so it mostly held the attention of this journalist... Not knowing the story, I followed Erik’s (Hartnett) writing, research and its aftermath with a lot of interest. But then again, I don’t know my boxing history. The movie suffers because we don’t quite know why poor Erik and his journalist wife are on the outs. They clearly have a strong relationship, and it’s never really explained why he isn’t living at home. The only thing I can see is that maybe she’s a better writer than he is and he’s living that sports movie cliché of “chasing his father’s ghost.” (See If You Want)
Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone, Burt Young)
When Rocky spouts a cliche, his opponent asks: "Is that from the 80s?" The answer: "70s I think." That kind of sums up where this movie is coming from-- it's almost as if Rockys (Rockies?) 3, 4 and 5 never happened (although I refuse to let go of those guilty pleasures). Believe it or not, this is a sweet and humble movie that puts a beloved character to rest the way he should be. (Go See)
The Rolling Stones - Shine A Light (Mick Jagger, Keith Richards)
I'm biased as a huge Stones fan, but this was great to watch. Martin Scorsese favors Mick Jagger over Keith Richards in the shots he chooses to use, but when you've got a frontman like that running around, you use the best shots. The duets are best part, especially a killer blues jam with Buddy Guy on "Champagne And Reefer." Like any of my bootlegs, I could do without yet another version of "Brown Sugar" or "Satisfaction," but it's worth it to get "Loving Cup" and "As Tears Go By." (Go See)
Sex And The City (Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall)
I’m not ashamed to say I know how Sex and the City on HBO ended. It was actually a pretty good ending. All those years of discussing every possible sexual issue under the sun finally paid off as the women moved to new stages of their lives. There really weren’t any loose ends. Ah, but Michael Patrick King, Sarah Jessica Parker and the other creative minds behind SATC must have had another ending in mind. 1A worked very well on HBO, but they must have been thinking about a 1B. So they made it. Then we get ending 1C, which is like the three most boring episodes of SATC strung together. (See If You Want)
Shoot 'Em Up (Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti)
The title tells you exactly what this movie is, but in case you miss it, the creators of Shoot ‘Em Up want you to know this is really just a cartoon... So yes, Owen and Giamatti have been in higher-brow fare, but they know exactly what kind of movie they’re in here and just go for it. They let the sound guy fire up the Nirvana and Motorhead music and let the bullets fly. (Go See)
The Simpsons Movie (Dan Castellana, Julie Kavner)
The Simpsons is the funniest TV show ever created. I don’t even want to argue about it (or maybe I do. Click the e-mail link on top of the page). So is The Simpsons Movie the funniest… movie… ever? No. But while it doesn’t rank as high as some of Springfield’s best moments, it certainly holds its own when compared to standard ones. (Go See)
Smart People (Dennis Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker)
Does it make me stupid to say I wish they’d taken the raw material they had here and turned it into a more accessible romantic comedy? On paper, it’s got what it takes... I give Smart People credit for trying to break from the formula and for being a rare short movie, but maybe stupid people like me need it to be a little longer so they can spell it all out for us. (Stay Away From)
Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci)
It’s great to look at… for awhile... It’s a stretch to take a cartoon and turn it into a 90-minute feature film. But a 2-hour and 15-minute film? It’s a test of the viewer’s patience, whether it’s an all-out animated spectacle or not... I give Speed Racer a lot of credit for technical achievement, but the Wachowskis have to learn when to apply the brakes. (Stay Away From)
Spider-Man 3 (Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst)
I’ll begin by telling you how I choose what comic books to read every week... What I do, because I get so many titles, is take a quick peek at the last panel to see if the story might have a “To Be Continued” there for me. If it does, I set it aside and wait for the next issue of that title... Sometimes, those cunning comic book editors trick me though. The story has ended on the next to last page, and the little “To Be Continued” is just tacked on at the end as a little teaser. Spider-Man 3 is a lot like that. It’s actually three different Spider-Man stories tacked together, and when one ends, another begins.. by then it’s been a little too long and seems a little forced. (See If You Want)
Superbad (Jonah Hill, Michael Cera)
When you were going through your awkward teenage phase, I know it didn’t feel funny, but think about it: it really was... You looked like an idiot. I don’t care if you were captain of the football team or the chess club, you looked like an idiot. Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen know this and use it to get huge laughs in the incredibly funny Superbad... They excelled at adolescent humor with adult stars, so there was no reason to think they wouldn’t get it right with real adolescents. (Go See)
Surf's Up (Shia LaBeouf, Jeff Bridges)
Once those penguins marched and captured the hearts of the world, it was probably inevitable that other filmmakers would try to capitalize on the success of March of The Penguins. Last year, we got Happy Feet, appealing to an audience that maybe doesn’t want to think that much about the penguins but would rather take in their cuteness. Surf’s Up also knows penguins are cute, but it manages to be—believe it or not—a little more sophisticated and subtle. (Go See)
Talk To Me (Don Cheadle, Chiwetel Ejiofor)
It’s a mostly great movie thanks to the work of the very versatile Don Cheadle. It’s not surprising, knowing he played the lead in Hotel Rwanda and pulled off Sammy Davis, Jr. in HBO’s The Rat Pack. He gives the assassination of Dr. King its proper respect, stands up for the black community, handles the complexities of a charismatic convict-- but most importantly: he’s hysterical. Even without the weighty issues, this would have been a very good comedy. (Go See)
Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny (Jack Black, Kyle Gass)
In School of Rock, Black let his geek side show, and it worked. He was something of an outsider and had someone to play off. In The Pick of Destiny, it’s too much Tenacious D, and it doesn’t translate. I appreciate that Black knows who Dio is and is a fan, but just pointing out what you know about the man and his band isn’t funny. Hey, I prefer Ronnie James Dio in Black Sabbath, I know he’s from Cortland and I even own the Lock Up The Wolves album… see? It sounds stupid and it’s not all that funny. (Stay Away From)
There Will Be Blood (Daniel Day-Lewis, Paul Dano)
It’s not called There IS Blood, it’s called There WILL BE Blood. It’s an ominous title, giving you the feeling that something very, very bad is going to happen. Paul Thomas Anderson has created a movie where tension is very high and where for long stretches, when you stop and think about it, nothing all that much really happens. But you just know something will. That’s largely due to the considerable presence of Day-Lewis as oilman Daniel Plainview. Even when he’s saying nothing, you’re watching him. And you’re afraid of him. (Go See)
Vantage Point (Dennis Quaid, William Hurt)
There are all kinds of ways to look at Vantage Point. It’s part-JFK, part-Lost, part-24, and part-Rashomon, which could have made it pretty cool. But it’s also part-French Connection, and while there’s certainly nothing wrong with a good car chase in a good movie, it’s just thrown in and proves they had no clue how to end this thing... And as it turns out, I totally called the big plot twist. From my vantage point, they blew it. (See If You Want)
Young @ Heart
I’ve never liked the Rapping Granny. I’m talking about the concept that shows up in unimaginative commercials or sitcoms or hack films. They go for an easy laugh by taking a little old lady and giving her a younger edge... so a whole movie of rapping – or in this case rocking—grannies and gramps made me a little skeptical. But ultimately, Young @ Heart isn’t after laughs... Think for a moment about why this band’s members can’t stay the same as the years go on. Young @ Heart addresses that without getting overdramatic. It’s not maudlin when the inevitable happens – it’s real and dignified. (Go See)
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Archives:
16 Blocks (Bruce Willis, Mos Def)
While we wait for the next King of Action Movies to be crowned (I refuse to believe it's Vin Diesel or The Rock), the previous kings are trying to hold on to their titles.... In 16 Blocks, Bruce Willis doesn't act like the Bruce Willis-of-old, even though the movie has some similarities to Die Hard With A Vengeance. For Die Hard's John McClane, it'd be easy. For 16 Blocks' Jack Mosley-- not so much. (Go See)
A-T-L (T.I.)
"ATL" is a slick abbreviation for Atlanta, the setting for this coming-of-age story about two brothers and their friends in a poor, black neighborhood. It's a flashy, amped-up movie, full of quick cuts, loud characters and really loud hip hop music. It's kind of like watching the commercials they show on MTV for sneakers. But for all its flash, it's really pretty bland... Older teens promised an edgy movie though will be disappointed. The trailers make A-T-L seem like a dangerous movie about a dangerous place, but I think movies about other cities would win in a fight. (See If You Want)
Akeelah & The Bee (Keke Palmer, Laurence Fishburne)
Akeelah's problem isn't that she has to overcome the odds to compete in the National Spelling Bee. She's good enough to get there. But she doesn't want anyone to know it. It's a problem smart kids face-- you're not cool if you're good in school. Her journey to the finals is an exciting, suspenseful and inspiring story.... Like its title character, Akeelah & The Bee isn't afraid to be smart. I hope more kids discover it and learn the lesson. (Go See)
All The King's Men (Sean Penn, Jude Law)
A couple of Oscars ago, you might remember Chris Rock making fun of Jude Law and an overly serious Sean Penn standing up for him. "Jude Law is one of our finest actors," he said from the podium. Penn probably felt he owed Law a favor. At the time, they were working together on All The King's Men, and from looking at the finished project, Law clearly did all of Penn's work for him while Penn still gets to have his name above the title... We know absolute power corrupts absolutely, but apparently the filmmakers didn't have the patience to show us it corrupts gradually too... We didn't need a movie to remind us that politicians can be crooked, but it would have been nice to get one that shows us why. (Stay Away From)
American Dreamz (Hugh Grant, Mandy Moore)
Dreamz is part political parody, part pop-culture parody.... In the right hands, this could have been a classic dark comedy. The premise-- taken to the absurd extreme-- would have been fantastic in the hands of the South Park guys. A fake documentary about both the reality tv world or the political world or both would have been brilliant in the hands of a Christopher Guest or a Tim Robbins. Instead-- even with injured Iraq war vets, a clueless President and a suicide bomber-- we get fairly light, harmless comedy. It comes off as fluffy and harmless as American Idol itself.... It's more Randy Jackson than Simon Cowell. (See If You Want)
An Inconvenient Truth (Al Gore)
I don't know 100% for sure if global warming is for real (more on that later), but I know Al Gore is.
Regardless of the subject matter, An Inconvenient Truth is fascinating because of its star: Global Warming Lecturer Al Gore. He's affable, he's funny, he's passionate-- he's interesting. His is practically the sole voice we hear throughout this 100 minute lecture, and he never gets boring. You should audit Mr. Gore's class. (Go See)
Babel (Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett)
Four interlocking stories, three of which are gripping... The one about the Japanese skank left me too disturbed to recommend it. And at the end, I didn't see the point of having them all jumbled together into one movie. The final result is an overrated mess. This year's Syriana, which is not a compliment. (See If You Want)
The Bad News Bears (2005 remake-- Billy Bob Thornton)
Good news about Bad News. It doesn't mess with the original starring Walter Matthau and Tatum O'Neal. Bad news about Bad News. Director Richard Linklater's remake is so close to the original, there's really no reason to go see this... If you have cable, check the guide to see if director Richard Linklater's School Of Rock is on. That's a better movie about a bum helping a bunch of misfit kids find their way. Or look for the original Bad News Bears... unless you feel the need to see the story updated with references to the internet and Mark McGwire. (See If You Want)
Batman Begins (Christian Bale, Michael Caine)
There's a scene in Batman Begins when Dr. Thomas Wayne comforts his young son Bruce asking "Why do we fall?" and answering "So we can learn how to get back up." Bruce's alter ego's fallen a few times since he was introduced in 1939... Christian Bale's a great choice, because let's face it: I love Batman, you love Batman, we all love Batman-- but he's something of an American Psycho himself. This is the first Bat-movie to really explore why he does it and how he got the way he is.... Batman should be able to keep going after this. He got back up. (Go See)
Because I Said So (Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore)
Imagine you've been invited to a dinner party and the hosts are an overbearing woman and her three daughters. To entertain their guests after dinner, the four of them get up and sing some oldies. Only one of them can sing. That unbearably annoying scenario is part of Because I Said So. I sat there and asked: "Why the hell would anyone want to go to a party where this is the entertainment?" And I realized I was sitting through a movie where that scene was supposed to be the entertainment... This movie sucks. Because I said so. (Stay Away From)
Beerfest
Beerfest begins with a disclaimer: "Don't do this. You will die." If you think that's funny, you'll love Beerfest. I do, and I did... No, that's not at all socially redeeming, but it is hysterical. It's raucous, crude humor at its best, with just a winking acknowledgement that everyone involves knows how stupid it all is. When it really got rolling, I had tears rolling down my face.... Go see it for "Schnitzengiggle's" and more. (Go See)
Benchwarmers (Rob Schneider, David Spade)
Benchwarmers swings at everything. It doesn't always hit, but when it does, it's pretty funny... It's yet another sports comedy from Happy Madison Productions, Adam Sandler's company. Maybe he thinks he's done too many, so Sandler gives his old SNL buddies a break. They're not too bad, although they don't create characters as memorable as Sandler's Waterboy or Happy Gilmore... The puke isn't all that funny. The kid who spits when he talks is. If that makes you laugh, you'll like Benchwarmers. It probably means you're either a 13 year old boy or remember what that was like. (See If You Want)
Bewitched (Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell)
I made a joke on the air that halfway through Bewitched, they ought to just replace Will Ferrell's Darrin with another actor, just to acknowledge the whole Dick York-Dick Sargent thing. Don't say anything about it-- just have Vince Vaughan or somebody play Darrin for the second half of the movie and see if people catch it.... the new Bewitched is different from other recent tv to film adaptations so my brilliant casting scheme won't work.... Will Ferrell doesn't play Darrin Stevens, he plays an actor cast as Darrin in a new tv adaptation of Bewitched. It's a clever way to take a franchise and put it on the big screen without making us say "not another remake." (Go See)
Big Momma's House 2 (Martin Lawrence)
Of course, it's stupid, it's a sequel to a movie called Big Momma's House. The problems are that Big Momma's House 2 isn't funny, is at times ludicrous and tries to pretend it's a heart-warming family story.... I'll be fair and point out the one thing I liked. There's a little kid who climbs on things and jumps off. Man, that was funny. (Stay Away From)
Blood Diamond (Leonardo DiCaprio, Djimon Hounsou)
Three months salary is nothing to give up for a diamond—not if there are people giving up arms, legs and members of their family... The set-up could make you feel a bit guilty, but once the initial preaching is over, Blood Diamond shifts into a gripping action movie with all-too-real stakes... The quest is a little longer than it needs to be, but when the action picks up, it is intense. (Go See)
The Break-Up (Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston)
I've called Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston the "I don't get it" couple. It's been my experience that men love Jennifer Aniston and look at Vince Vaughn and wonder how he's pulling this relationship off.... Likewise, women who think Vince Vaughn has it going on look at Jennifer and think Vince can do better... They are likeable and relatable, and so are the situations in The Break-Up. (Go See)
Brokeback Mountain (Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal)
I think I missed a couple of critics' meetings. The first one must have covered the sinister plot to spread the gay agenda.... Since I missed that meeting, I didn't stay through the credits of Brokeback Mountain to see the giant letters proclaiming: "All cowboys are like this, and everything you saw here was in fact acceptable behavior!" But I also missed the meeting where all critics conspired to declare Brokeback Mountain the "Best Movie Of 2005." ... It's a good movie, but it's not "the best." Brokeback faces a Catch-22. If the movie starred Heath Ledger and Maggie Gyllenhaal, it would be like any Lifetime movie. What happens to the two lovers could happen to any couple on Channel 35, whether their obstacle is based on sexual orientation, race, religion or age.... It is an interesting story, and as the years passed, I did genuinely wonder what was going to happen to these people. It takes a little long to get there; Brokeback Mountain is based on a short story by Annie Proulx and maybe should have stayed short. (See If You Want)
Capote (Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener)
Philip Seymour Hoffman's been creepy, funny and has played charismatic real-life figures before. The Fairport native does all three here, pulling off the best performance of his career. It cannot be easy to play someone like Truman Capote and be convincing. His small stature, his speech patterns and his blatant homosexuality would make Capote easy to parody (and he has been parodied many times), but Hoffman hits everything that made the late writer such a charismatic, imposing and tortured person. (Go See)
Cars (Owen Wilson, Paul Newman)
You'd think a computer-animated movie about talking race cars would be a fast-paced and noisy film. But Cars, the latest from the consistent class act Pixar is actually a fairly quiet little story with a lot of sweetness... Yeah, we've seen these characters before, but never as talking cars! I don't know if Cars is quite a classic, but it runs better than the rest of the films on the lot right now. (Go See)
Casanova (Heath Ledger, Sienna Miller)
Casanova reminded me of Frasier, which actually reminded me a lot of Three's Company. All three are romps, which get their comedy because of mistaken identities and huge misunderstandings. Casanova, like Frasier, will seem a little more highfalutin, because it uses bigger words than Jack Tripper or Mr. Furley ever did.... Heath Ledger can pull off some very different roles--he's a Venetian lothario here and a gay cowboy in Brokeback. Close your eyes and listen to his voice in each and you would not know you're listening to the same guy. (Go See)
Casino Royale (Daniel Craig, Eva Green)
So how is Daniel Craig as Blonde, James Blonde? We still don’t really know. The movie is either a set up for when Craig really gets to play Bond or a way to hide the fact that Craig isn’t the guy. He’s not “James Bond” yet. He is a womanizer, but he’s more silent action hero than suave superspy. He has no fancy gadgets; instead he relies on his physical strength and speed (Bond does a lot of running). He does very little talking, and while there’s some charm there, there’s none of the quips we expect from him. This is not the same guy. That’s especially true toward the end—just when you think the movie is over, he acts so un-Bond like, it’s almost a turn-off. (See If You Want)
The Cave
At the risk of giving away some of the ending of The Cave, I did a head count at the end to keep track of who made it and who didn't. There was one guy who I don't even remember getting killed. That'll happen when the cast is pretty much made up of interchangeable pretty-boy tough guys. They've all got attitudes, they all think they're the best, and they all take their cave exploration duties very, very seriously. "Respect the cave," one of them says in all seriousness before they head off on their most dangerous expedition yet. (Stay Away From)
Charlie & The Chocolate Factory (Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore)
I think kids who haven't seen both will like this better. If you're a fan of the original, it may be nostalgic for you... or you may consider it a travesty that they made this. That's up to you. But this is a better movie. Willy Wonka was a basic Wonka bar. Charlie has extra ingredients. (Go See)
Cheaper By The Dozen 2 (Steve Martin, Bonnie Hunt)
Maybe what I was looking for was in Cheaper By The Dozen 1... This movie is less about Steve Martin interacting with his twelve kids than it is about Steve Martin reacting to his twelve kids. Sadly, that means watching the comic legend do slapstick-- not the hysterical manic stuff he did in The Jerk, but more like closeups of his face while he water skis and yells "Whooooaaaaaahhhh."... One other big star in the Cheaper movies is Hillary Duff. She was a big draw for Cheaper 1. She's barely in Cheaper 2. Her tween fans will be disappointed to see her walk on, give advice to her sister, walk off, and come back for the group shot at the end. It's cheaper to stay home and rent the first. (Stay Away From)
Chicken Little (Zach Braff, Garry Marshall)
It's a sweet little story as Chicken Little tries to be accepted and make his way in the world. I was really taken with an extended baseball scene where the little guy gets a hit and doesn't know what to do. The characters are all very cute, and little kids will love them. Soon after, the film gets silly... It turns out the sky really is falling, and we're in the middle of a full-scale alien invasion. It's almost like Chicken Little became its own silly sequel-- a sweet story followed by a silly one because they no longer know what to do with the characters. (See If You Want)
The Chronicles of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe (Georgie Henley, Tilda Swinton)
The familiar animals are somehow even more magical. I've never seen or walked alongside a Gollum, but I have seen wolves, beavers and lions. Narnia has them walk and talk alongside the kids, and it's a very convincing effect. The lion is the most convincing. You see every hair and every contour of his face and totally believe he's real... If you're not one of the faithful, you won't be alienated. It's pretty obvious who Aslan is, but there's no call to action for you to join a church. The movie does have some good lessons for any child though-- things about loyalty to family, the temptation to do bad and the importance of forgiveness. (Go See)
Cinderella Man (Russell Crowe, Renee Zellweger)
You'd think there are only so many ways to shoot a boxing movie. Two guys. One ring. Not a lot to shoot. But director Ron Howard found a way with Cinderella Man. From the blood dripping on the ring to the boxer's-eye view of a man entering through the ropes, there's a feeling you haven't seen this before. Mostly, that's because of the boxer Howard chose to do a movie about. You always hear boxers say the other guy is "trying to keep me from feeding my family." For Braddock, it was so true. The scenes showing the family in poverty are stifling. People worried about their credit card debt shouldn't complain if they've never added water to a milk jug to make it seem full or closed their eyes and pretended a slice of baloney was a steak. Or worse-- thought about sending their children away until they can afford to support them. (Go See)
Clerks 2 (Brian O'Halloran, Jeff Anderson)
It's very likely that you'll look at these people as the biggest group of losers you've ever seen. But if you can actually argue that there is really only one movie trilogy (Randall is so right) and that the Go-Bots were really just K-Mart's version of The Transformers, then this movie is a (Go See)
Click (Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale)
What looks like your typical Adam Sandler screwball comedy is really a retelling of A Christmas Carol, with a magical remote control filling in for the three ghosts... While watching this nonsense, I took inspiration from the movie and decided to fast-forward my mind right to the review I was going to write. I thought I'd play with the remote control concept and "skip" through a review. I'd type things like "Here's what you need to know about Click >> >> >> "juvenile" >> >> >> >> "unfunny" >> >> >> >> "don't even bother with the DVD" >>> >>>> >>>> "skip over to a better movie."... That would have been the whole review if not for the movie's final third... At this point, I was no longer angry at Sandler, I was disappointed. I spent so much time angry at this stupid movie, that when it came time for Sandler to re-evaluate his life, I could care less. (Stay Away From)
Corpse Bride (aka Tim Burton's Corpse Bride; Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter)
It's a great look-- full of the macabre characters Tim Burton is known for. Worms pop out of eyes, jaws drop off of faces-- and they're actually kind of cute... Despite the dark humor, it's a sweet love story about a guy torn between the woman he's supposed to marry and the corpse he marries accidentally while rehearsing his vows... And kids will be fine. Especially sensitive youngsters might freak out at some of the ghosts, but if they can handle Scooby-Doo, let them see something like this which shows some real imagination. (Go See)
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