DVD Archives (continued)
The Da Vinci Code (Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou)
Some pretty big names are connected to The Da Vinci Code (Tom Hanks, Ron Howard, DaVinci, Jesus), and expectations are pretty high. In a way, that's too bad, because if The Da Vinci Code had been a movie first, with "edgier" stars, we'd all be saying "Wow, that's a great idea." A cult would have been formed around it, and obsessives would be all over The Da Vinci Code the way they're all over Lost or Pulp Fiction or Memento. To my Da Vinci Virgin Eyes, it was pretty cool to hear those concepts for the first time. (Go See)
The Departed (Leonardo DiCaprio, Jack Nicholson)
The question every article on The Departed is posing is "Why haven't Jack Nicholson and Martin Scorsese worked together before?" My answer having seen it: they were waiting for just the right project. The Departed is it. It's perfectly suited to the strengths of both of these icons. On the Scorsese end of things: this is the kind of violent gangster epic that his fans love. Biopics on Howard Hughes and adaptations of Edith Wharton novels help Scorsese's credibility even if they don't earn him Oscars. But it's the gangster stuff that has given him actual fans. They will love this too. .. Nicholson is as evil an S.O.B. as we've ever seen Nicholson play... He is just one of three strong leads. In a lot of ways, Costello (Nicholson) is really a supporting character for Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio... It's exactly what you want from the people involved. (Go See)
The Descent
Let's put it this way. Halfway through The Descent, I saw some people descend right down the stairs and head out the door. I don't blame them. The movie starts out as a claustrophobic's nightmare and then descends into an absolute gorefest when they're attacked by some Gollum-looking creatures that live down there. Me? I liked it, but I can handle it. I was in suspense waiting for each moment the creatures would attack, and when they did, it was always entertaining in a squeamish/fun kind of way. (See If You Want)
The Devil's Rejects (Sid Haig, Sheri Moon)
Rob Zombie's The Devil's Rejects is the best horror movie I've seen this summer. By that, I don't mean it's scary. It's too funny to be scary. And by funny, I mean only if you have a dark sense of humor and can find the story of an evangelical sheriff hunting down a family of serial killers funny. Still with me? OK, if you like that kind of stuff, read on... OK, now back to my warped sense of humor and the fun I had watching a poor woman killed by a truck while wearing her dead boyfriend's face.... I swear I'll try to get to March Of The Penguins to make up for this. (Go See)
Doom (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson)
Forgive me video gamers, I can't tell you if Doom follows the storyline of the game it was based on. I lost track of video games a long time ago... The Rock has charisma and is actually a decent actor, but any B-list action star could have done Doom... This film won't attract anyone outside its fan base, and even they might get a little bit bored.... There's a bit of a twist and a cool looking homage to the game itself. Ironically, Doom the movie is at its best when it looks like Doom the game. (See If You Want)
Dreamgirls (Jamie Foxx, Beyonce, Jennifer Hudson)
It is of course very ironic that the star of a movie musical about fame and who deserves it is someone who only finished seventh when she was on American Idol... Jennifer Hudson steals the show to the point where you have to call her the star... That’s not to say the others in the movie aren’t good. Shockingly, another supporting player steals the scenes he’s in. Shockingly, that player is someone who usually isn't a supporting player. Superstar Eddie Murphy takes third billing to play one of his best characters ever... Director Condon is blessed with great music to drive the movie. The songs in Dreamgirls—which didn’t exist in the real world eras they’re performed in—provide an amazing musical history lesson. (Go See)
The Dukes Of Hazzard (Johnny Knoxville, Sean William Scott)
From the casting, you know this isn't going to be a kinder, gentler Hazzard County. The city slickers casting this movie sent a message by giving us American Pie's Sean William Scott and Jackass' Johnny Knoxville as Bo and Luke Duke. Our original Dukes were good ol' boys, but they were fairly gentle and decent guys. Tom Wopat's Luke was actually smart, and John Schneider's Bo was a kind-hearted lunk... They're amping up the dumb redneck routine. On the show, they came up with fun and clever schemes to defeat Boss Hogg and Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. This time all they can think to do is get Cousin Daisy (Jessica Simpson) to shake it and distract people... Until now, the big mistake in Dukes history was when the TV producers dared replace Bo and Luke with lookalike cousins named Coy and Vance. They didn't do much better with Stifler and Jackass. (Stay Away From)
Eight Below (Paul Walker)
There's some really good acting in Eight Below. The actors in this suspense thriller show genuine concern for each other as they're stranded in Antarctica. There's the fear they won't get rescued, the loyalty they show one another with each danger faced, and the sadness when tragedy hits. You can't help but feel for these heroes in their tale of survival. By the way, they're dogs. The humans in the movie aren't as impressive, but they don't really matter all that much. (Go See)
Elizabethtown (Orlando Bloom, Kirsten Dunst)
I love Cameron Crowe's movies, even Vanilla Sky which I don't entirely understand. I also loved his Jerry Maguire, which is why Elizabethtown is such a letdown. It is Jerry Maguire, minus the good lines and great performances... The word is Elizabethtown was screened at the Toronto Film Festival, and after the bad reaction, Crowe trimmed it. Which means it was once longer and duller. If you see it, you'll find that hard to believe. (Stay Away From)
Employee Of The Month (Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson)
I shop at a wholesale club, so I understand what the makers of Employee Of The Month were thinking. Why pay for two stars-- like an Owen Wilson and a Reese Witherspoon-- when you can get second rate stars like Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, Andy Dick, Dax Shepherd and Apu from Seinfeld in bulk? (Stay Away From)
The Exorcism Of Emily Rose (Laura Linney)
Sounds like it could be a horror movie or a cool episode of Law & Order. Emily Rose tries to be both though-- so just as you get into one movie, it becomes another. Emily's story is told in flashbacks in court... So the flashbacks are good and freaky-- Emily speaks long-dead languages, she twitches on the floor, she sees ghostly figures wherever she walks. But just when you get a good scare going-- bam-- we're back in court. OK, maybe then we get a gripping legal argument, but in that context, the horror becomes a little silly. (See If You Want)
Failure To Launch (Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew McConaughey)
Every hack critic in the country is going to take the title of Failure To Launch and say "no kidding." So I will too... Sarah Jessica Parker can be a good romantic lead, as we know from Sex & The City's Carrie Bradshaw. In fact, every episode of Sex & The City is better than this. Let me recommend two of them for you: the one where Carrie dates a guy who still lives at home, and the one where she meets up with (Failure co-star) Matthew McConaughey. The ideas can launch. (Stay Away From)
Fantastic Four (Jessica Alba, Michael Chiklis)
The idea of super heroes becoming stars is a good one. The media name them "The Fantastic Four" after catching them rescuing people on a bridge-- and it's the public who begins calling them super heroes... Only Johnny Storm embraces his new role. He's played by Chris Evans, who is a standout ... Just like in the comic, the heart of the Fantastic Four is the tragic figure Ben Grimm... He's a funny and sad character who's always been the most popular of the Four, and he's played just right by The Shield's Michael Chiklis... The biggest problem with the movie-- not enough super heroing. Instead of getting out there and fighting crime, they're arguing with each other. ... Fantastic Four I is a so-so start to the franchise, but it shows a lot of promise for Fantastic Four II and III. (See If You Want)
Fast Food Nation (Greg Kinnear, Ashley Johnson)
I never read the book ahead of time, so I didn’t know a lot about what to expect from Fast Food Nation, based on Eric Schlosser’s best-seller. I knew it would be something of an expose of the fast food industry, but thought it might have a funny, satirical take. You throw the words “fast food” into a title and you might expect quick, cheap entertainment. What you get instead from Fast Food Nation is a dull movie served to us painfully slow... The use of a fictional fast food chain does make one wonder: how much of this is true? What’s it all based on? And the most important thing: what’s the deal with the fecal matter in the meat? (Stay Away From)
Firewall (Harrison Ford, Virginia Madsen)
The name Firewall is actually a pretty good one for an action movie, but as an action movie, it's pretty routine. It's a familiar role for Ford, along the lines of his brooding work in The Devil's Own or Air Force One, so if you liked those, you may like this. There are no big stunts, maybe because Ford is getting up there and wouldn't be all that convincing doing Indiana Jones-type moves anymore. For that reason, the action is kept to typing passwords really fast and downloading a lot of information. It's not particularly exciting, but I at least understood it. I'm sure computer geeks will roll their eyes and some of it, but it's dumbed down enough for me. (See If You Want)
Flags Of Our Fathers (Ryan Phillipe, Adam Beach)
Misidentified or not, everyone on the battlefield is a hero of course, and Eastwood has put together a thoughtful film on what it means to be one. They can be as obvious as Rene Gagnon, as reserved as John Bradley or as tortured as Ira Hayes... The film also looks at why we want and need heroes. You don't blame anyone for latching onto the people they do, and even while we are bothered by the government's playing with the facts, you almost don't blame them for giving us what we want. (But repeating for emphasis: almost)... Flags is as stirring as any "traditional" World War II movie without sugar coating the realities of war. (Go See)
Flyboys (James Franco)
Maybe in 1916, they weren't cliches. But 90 years later, what we're seeing in Flyboys is pretty standard stuff for any war movie, be it a classic serial, Top Gun or even Star Wars. That's too bad, because Flyboys has two plot elements that could have been turned into an effective historical drama. 1) The flyboys from the title are Americans who, for different reasons, fight World War I alongside the French before the U.S. enters the conflict. 2) They are the very first fighter pilots: in 1916, these things called "planes" hadn't been around all that long. (See If You Want)
Four Brothers (Mark Wahlberg, Andre Benjamin)
This is a favorable review, but if you're going to enjoy this movie, you have to do what I did and look past one problem... Here's what we've got: the four brotherswere all foster children adopted by a sainted mother. She is murdered in what looks like a convenience store holdup, but the boys realize there's more to the story and take the law into their own hands. While these guys are beating the crap out of the suspects, I have to think their sainted mother up in Heaven might have been thinking, "Uh, boys, I didn't raise you that way." As for the four brothers, they're all very good. Most important, they're very good together. They had to have camaraderie for us to believe they were a family, and they do. (Go See)
Freedomland (Julianne Moore, Samuel L. Jackson)
It sounds a bit like the infamous Susan Smith case, and it should. The detective on the case (Samuel L. Jackson) starts to doubt her story, but to make matters worse, the story and the media coverage surrounding it threaten to make racial tensions in his own neighborhood explode... The two tense situations-- the missing boy and the threat of racial unrest-- are riveting.... The promos made a big deal about a surprise ending, which only surprised me as to how lame it was. Still, the setup held my attention long enough to earn Freedomland a recommendation. (Go See)
F**k
An interesting documentary covering the history of that worst of all words (You'll be so educated on it, by the end, it's like going to "F*** U.") To the documentary's credit, it includes the word's supporters and haters. (Go See)
Ghost Rider (Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes)
Ghost Rider could be a dark, goth kind of film with its concept: Johnny Blaze sells his soul to The Devil, who collects on the deal by recruiting Blaze to become his bounty hunter. In the presence of evil, Blaze becomes Ghost Rider and forces evil-doers to confront what they’ve done. Now, if you say that out loud, it’s pretty ludicrous, and to the movie makers' credit, they don’t take it too seriously. This is a "comic book movie" if there ever was one... Sadly, the movie lost me when Blaze actually does become Ghost Rider, which happens in the second half. Ghost Rider looks cool, but he’s a complete CGI creation with no personality. I’m not entirely sure that’s even Cage’s voice anymore. (See If You Want)
Glory Road (Josh Lucas, Jon Voight)
Remember the Titans? Glory Road is a lot like that, except it's basketball. The problem with sports movies is the cliches can run wild. They can be bad news for those of us looking for originality in movies. But the good news for society is there are many true-life stories to be told about coaches, teams and schools that ended segregation in sports. ... Jim Boeheim took the S.U. team to see the movie as a motivational tool, and the report is many were unaware of what this team had gone through or even just how much segregation once affected sports. (Go See)
Good Night And Good Luck (David Strathairn, George Clooney)
It's a very good movie with a very narrow target audience. You know McCarthy was a bad guy (He had an "ism" named after him. That tends to make you either really good or really bad). Anyone interested in this movie already knows that. Still, director George Clooney and the actor playing McCarthy do a very good job reminding us what a nutcase the guy was. That's because the actor playing McCarthy is McCarthy himself.... Clooney is something of an activist in the real world, the kind that listeners to right-wing talk radio often shout: "Shut up and make a movie." So he did. Clooney does lecture, but I didn't sit there and think: "Take that McCarthy and all you modern day McCarthys." I thought: "Man, he's being harsh on the media." (Go See)
The Good Shepherd (Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie)
Matt Damon, who continues to impress, does a solid job of playing a young man at Yale and an older man with a grown son. I didn't think I could buy the former Will Hunting as a man in his 40's, but he pulls off a maturity we haven't seen from him before... Robert DeNiro (who plays a small role himself) is certainly ambitious with how much ground he tries to cover, and it's fascinating to speculate on what may have been going on "behind the scenes" of history. Unfortunately, the movie's big mystery doesn't have a satisfying payoff. The solution becomes obvious at one point, and then we have to wait a long time for the big reveal... So many scenes could get to the point much sooner than they do, and just when you think it's over, DeNiro tacks on an overly dramatic and unnecessary plot twist to drive home a point we already got. (See If You Want)
The Greatest Game Ever Played (Shia LeBeouf)
I'm not a sports fan, and I find golf deadly dull. Most of The Greatest Game is about as exciting as golf, except for, oddly enough, the big game at the end. Actor Bill Paxton is the director for this film about the 1913 U.S. Open, when a middle class teenager named Francis Ouimet (Shia LeBeouf) competed as an amateur against top-ranked pros.. It's a little like Cinderella Man-- an average working class stiff captures the imagination of the country facing off against a seasoned champion... I could see a kid who's interested in golf taking an interest here. (See If You Want)
Gridiron Gang (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson)
You can pretty easily figure out which kids will learn which lessons, and you can guess which of the kids that leave the team in a huff will come back to join it later on. There's also an inspirational game or two. Or three. Or four. It seemed like they just kept playing even after I thought all the lessons had been learned. So what haven't we seen before? How about "The Rock" in a dramatic role? He'll never be Olivier and you still expect him to throw in "If you smell what The Rock is cooking" to the end of his pep talks, but he manages to use his old intensity without coming off like a cartoon. (See If You Want)
The Guardian (Kevin Costner, Ashton Kutcher)
The Guardian has many familiar elements from your typical military movie: the guy past his prime forced to train the newbies, the hotshot with an attitude, the hotshot's romance with the hottest girl at the bar, the trainee who cracks under pressure.... heck, it even has a familiar title (Kevin Costner is now both a bodyguard and a guardian). But The Guardian takes those overdone elements and moves them into new territory: a film about the Coast Guard and its rescue swimmers. I don't remember any prominent Coast Guard movies off the top of my head, so the scenes we're used to seeing involving ground troops or fighter pilots or troubled athletes become fresh again when the trainees are in the pool or in the ocean. (Go See)
Guess Who (Ashton Kucher, Bernie Mac)
Ashton Kucher and Bernie Mac are no Sidney Poitier and Spencer Tracy. They're not even Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro. I think it's fantastic that there can be a movie where a white man is engaged to a black woman, meets her family, and there's no problem... Ashton Kucher as the fiancee says at one point that the only way to deal with differences is to confront them. Sadly, the movie doesn't... aside from Kucher telling an inappropriate joke at dinner and a bit about NASCAR being a white man's sport, race is not really an issue in this movie... What it means is this movie didn't need making. What we get instead is a watered-down Meet The Parents. (Stay Away From)
Hannibal Rising (Gaspard Ulliel, Gong Li)
I know Thomas Harris wrote a series of Hannibal Lecter books, but doesn’t he know how perfect a movie Silence Of The Lambs is?... Now he’s written the screenplay based on his novel Hannibal Rising, a look at the cannibal’s formative years—a look at what in his childhood turned him into the movie’s most famous cannibal. Why would I want to know that? Why would I want to have the grisly past I could only imagine spelled out for me? And why would I ever want to feel sorry for Hannibal Lecter?... Note to Thomas Harris: the lambs stopped screaming. (Stay Away From)
Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire (Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson)
I'll be upfront. I haven't seen all the Harry Potter movies and have never cracked open a Potter book... Which brings us to Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire and the reason for the above disclaimer. Goblet is a very good movie, with an engaging story, excitement, magic, amazing special effects... and then something happens that forced this Potter-novice to look around the theater for help from the real Potter fans. Those Potter fans already know what I'm talking about. They've asked me: "So what did you think about __________?" And I have to tell them that's the point when the movie lost me. Until then: great movie.... The many fans are going to see it no matter what. The rest of us need to start at the beginning to appreciate it. (See If You Want)
Herbie: Fully Loaded (Lindsay Lohan, Michael Keaton)
There are kids' movies I can't put in the "See If You Want" column, because you probably don't want to. If your kids want to see Herbie, go ahead and take them, it won't do you any harm. I thought there might be something for me at first-- nostalgia at least... Then Lindsay Lohan shows up. Not that there's anything wrong with Lindsay, it's just that the movie becomes more about her and less about Herbie. She establishes her relationship with Herbie too quickly-- aside from some screaming, she seems to just accept the fact that "OK, I have a magic car." Then we focus on her love life, her family life and her dream of driving for her father's NASCAR team. Along the way, other people encounter Herbie, and it's not even made clear just who's in on Herbie's secret and who isn't. (Stay Away From)
High Tension
It's French, but don't be fooled into thinking it's high art. It's French director Alexandre Aja trying to break into the American market. Aja can't even decide how to present it to an American audience, alternating seemingly at random between dubbed-in English and English subtitles... High Tension has one of the most basic horror concepts. A college student is staying with her friend's family when a guy bursts in overnight and kills everybody. She fights back. That's really about it. So basically: if you like gore, you'll like this. (See If You Want)
Hitch (Wil Smith, Eva Mendes)
It’s nice that Hitch isn’t actually a cad who deep down hates women. It’s not about sex, it’s about love—he refuses to take clients who are just out to hook up. He knows what women are looking for in relationships—he helps men make the first few moves but then leaves them on their own. He’s not manipulating anybody... Unfortunately, the relationship he’s in doesn’t work that well—for him or for the audience. With Hitch’s charm and expertise with women, he could have pursued a less superficial leading lady than Eva Mendes’ gossip columnist... The more interesting duo is actually Smith and Kevin James (The King Of Queens)... It's not that Hitch doesn't deserve happiness-- it's just more fun to watch him make other couples happy. (See If You Want)
The Honeymooners (Cedric The Entertainer, Mike Epps)
My fellow critics are being a little hard on The Honeymooners. OK, it's not the funniest movie I've ever seen, but-- and maybe this is sacrilege-- The Honeymooners TV show wasn't the funniest TV show ever either. Still, it's held on a pedestal by many, so you know anyone comparing the two isn't going to hold them in equal regard. And they did call their movie The Honeymooners-- so they're asking for it. (See If You Want)
Imagine Me & You (Piper Perabo)
If you're in the mood to see a gay romantic film but Brokeback Mountain seems a little too heavy, Imagine Me & You is the way to go... What we have instead of gay cowboys are two lesbians who meet at a wedding. What's complicated is one of them is the bride (Piper Perabo) who doesn't realize yet she likes women.... Imagine is better at the comedy than the drama, so it loses its way a bit when it gets all Brokeback on us. The whimsy that makes up the bulk of the movie becomes unfortunate once the movie starts taking the relationship so seriously. (See If You Want)
Inside Man (Denzel Washington, Clive Owen)
Oscar winner Denzel Washington and director-auteur Spike Lee have reunited, but not for an epic with any deep meaning like their past work. This time, they've decided to have a little fun with a mystery/thriller about a bank heist. Lee has crafted a clever movie about two clever guys: Denzel Washington's detective and Clive Owen's master thief.... The exchanges between the two-- and their attempts to outsmart one another-- are the best part of Inside Man. Owen manages to be a charismatic force even while spending most of the movie masked. Washington really carries the movie though, balancing his frustration with Owen with some good humor.... There are too many things that make me ask: "what was ____ there for anyway?" Red herrings are good for a mystery, but there were just too many now that I think about it.... As for the ending and the real story behind the heist-- I was underwhelmed. That's disappointing, especially for a movie that held my interest so well for so long. (See If You Want)
Into The Blue (Paul Walker, Jessica Alba)
Into The Blue is what it is, and it doesn't try to be anything else. It's good looking people in bathing suits who live in the Bahamas and search for buried treasure... There are enough twists to keep you interested but not too many to stretch credibility. If you just want to eat your popcorn and not think too much, Into The Blue is a good choice. (Go See)
The Interpreter (Sean Penn, Nicole Kidman)
So many other things could have happened with this movie. The leads could have overacted trying to live up to their Oscar reputations. Sean Penn's character could have gotten in some precarious situations and pulled off amazing feats, rescuing Kidman from impossible situations. And of course, the two could have fallen in love. I'm happy to say The Interpreter stays focused. It's a political mystery that stays right in that realm. (Go See)
Jarhead (Jake Gyllenhaal, Jamie Foxx)
Jake Gyllenhaal plays Marine Anthony Swofford in this adaptation of his Gulf War memoir. We see his reality-- the brutal training with its real risks, a wall of shame of girlfriends and wives who have been unfaithful.... and the boredom. There's really not a lot for a group of young men to do when they're living in the desert, on guard, waiting for a war to start... Gyllenhaal and his brothers-in-arms do some pretty immature and irresponsible things (they are very young), that maybe at first viewing aren't a great tribute to the Marines. They're all fired up and ready to fight-- maybe too ready. Still, the "career" Marines played by Jamie Foxx and Peter Sarsgaard I would think do the Corps proud. (Go See)
Just Friends (Ryan Reynolds, Amy Smart)
I guess I'm "just friends" with this movie. There's nothing too wrong with it. It follows the themes of some classic romantic comedies, but to paraphrase Amy Smart and some girls and boys we all remember, I just don't like it that way. (See If You Want)